Love pressure
What really bothers me is that I always don’t have the answer to a lot of questions. Goals are one thing I can’t envision in my lifetime. It’s hard to admit, but I really have no ’specific’ goals in my life. Others can easily say, I want to be rich, or build my dream house, or travel abroad. I don’t have that kind of dream, nor vision. I just want to live a simple life with no problems, then die. That’s it, really simple.
My girlfriend, Joanne, sometimes asks me what are my plans with her. I always answered, we will get married, live together and stuff like that. Lately, she has been ‘pressuring’ me that we should live together now. Since we are both adults and working (currently I’m not), she suggested that we get a house or a condo. I know we are not getting any younger, and our peers are adding to that pressure. My barkada, Aldrin, got married a couple of years ago and has already a daughter. He is living in the U.S. while his family are still here in the Philippines. It wont’ be long before they are also in the U.S. Mike, another one of my barkada also got married last year. Now Mike is back at Canada, soon after his family will also join him there along with his few months old son. Another one of my barkada (whose name I won’t mention due to certain conflict that may arise) is living with his current girlfriend. I hear that his girlfriend is already pregnant. As you’ve probably guessed, soon they will also get married. And another one of my barkada (which again I won’t mention because it is supposed to be a secret) is also planning to get married. But not in the church, he and his girlfriend are planning to have a SM (secret marriage). Actually it’s not really a secret since they need a witness, he is inviting me to be one. Ok so to make this short, a few more of my friends and barkadas are either married, getting married, or already has a daughter or son, which BTW I’m also a ninong (godfather).
And to add to that ‘peer pressure’ my girlfriend’s younger brother also recently got married. She’s not really angry to the fact that her younger brother got married before her, but she’s wondering ‘when’ (with emphasis) we will get married. Although for reasons said by her parents, they don’t want her to get married ‘yet’ because her dad is going to petition her to the U.S. so her surname must remain intact.
Now if I’m to decide, I’d better plan for ‘our’ future. Since we are together on this one, I really have to decide on some things. Mostly I don’t like making decisions because, like I always say, what ever happens, happens. We’ve been together for more than six years (since 2001), we’ve already known known each other that much. We’ve already done many things together, gone to far away places. Maybe it is time to make that ‘near’ final step, where in you have to share your life with another person.
To choose between being single (my freedom, which I really like in my life coz I can always do anything I want without anyone objecting) or being in a couple (where I can enjoy the moments in my life with another person, to be loved and to feel love) is a really hard decision for me.
Well, it’s time to make that next step. What comes next, I hope it will be good.
