Posts Tagged ‘humor’

13
Oct

I like this comic

   Posted by: Ryman    in Net Escape

Pirate or buy

from: xkcd

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8
Mar

Filipino Wit

   Posted by: Ryman    in Humor Post, Things Forwarded

This came as a forwarded message from the group at Yahoo! to which I’m subscribed to. I think it has been passed around via email. This article is credited to the one who originally wrote it.

[start article]

FILIPINO SIGNS OF WIT
Nury Vittachi - THE FAR EASTERN ECONOMIC REVIEW

This week, we shall take a “reading tour” of one of the most spirited communities in Asia . The Philippines is full of word play. The local accent among many Filipinos, in which English words with “F” are spelled and pronounced with the sound of “P” and V is pronounced as “B” (because the Philippine alphabet has no letters F or V), is often used very cleverly, such as, the sign in a flower shop in Diliman called Petal Attraction.

Much of the word play in the Philippines is deliberate with retailers and various businesses favouring a play on names of Western establishments and celebrities (Americans, in particular– -movie stars and entertainment personalities, especially). For example, there is a bread shop in Manila called Anita Bakery, a 24-hour restaurant called Doris Day and Night, a garment shop called Elizabeth Tailoring, and a barber shop called Felix The Cut.

Reader Robert Harland also spotted a bakery named Bread Pitt, and a Makati fast-food place selling “maruya” (banana fritters) called Maruya Carey. Then, there are Christopher Plumbing, and a boutique called The Way We Wear ; a video rental shop called Leon King Video Rental; a restaurant in the Cainta district of Rizal called Caintacky Fried Chicken, a local burger restaurant called Mang Donald’s, a doughnut shop called MacDonuts, a shop selling “lumpia” (egg roll) in Makati called Wrap and Roll, and two butcher shops called Meating Place and Meatropolis.

Smart travellers can decipher what may look like baffling signs to unaccustomed foreigners by simply sounding out the “Taglish” (the Philippine version of English words spelled and pronounced with a heavy Filipino accent), such as, at a restaurant menu in Cebu : “We hab sopdrink in can an in batol” [translation: We have soft drinks in can and in bottle]. Then, there is a sewing accessories shop called Bids And Pises [translation: Beads and Pieces --or-- Bits and Pieces].

There are also many signs with either badly chosen or misspelled words, but they are usually so entertaining that it would be a mistake to “correct” them. A reader named Antonio “Tonyboy” Ramon T. Ongsiako, (now there’s a truly Filipino name), contributed the following interesting Philippine signs and advertisements:

In a restaurant in Baguio City (the “summer capital” of the Philippines ): “Wanted: Boy Waitress”; on a highway in Pampanga: “We Make Modern Antique Furniture;” on the window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan : “We Shoot You While You Wait;” and on the glass front of a cafe in Panay Avenue in Manila : “Wanted: Waiter, Cashier, Washier.”

Some of the notices can even give a wrong impression, such as, a shoe store in Pangasinan which has a sign saying: “We Sell Imported Robber Shoes” (these could be the “sneakiest” sneakers); and a rental property sign in Jaro, Iloilo reads: “House For Rent, Fully Furnaced” (it must really be hot inside)!

Occasionally, one could come across signs that are truly unique–if not altogether odd. Reader Gunilla Edlund submitted a sign that she saw at the ticket booth in the ferry pier in Davao City in southern Philippines , which said: “Adults: 1 peso; Child: 50 centavos; Cadavers: fare subject to negotiation. ”

European tourists may also be intrigued to discover two competing shops selling hopia (a Chinese pastry) called Holland Hopia and Poland Hopia, which are owned and operated by two local Chinese entrepreneurs, Mr. Ho and Mr. Po respectively- -(believe it or not)!

According to Manila businessman, Tonyboy Ongsiako, there is so much wit in the Philippines because “. . .we are a country where a good sense of humour is needed to survive. We have a 24-hour comedy show here called the government and a huge reserve of comedians made up mostly of politicians and retiring actors.

[end article]

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4
Nov

Mga Seryosong Tanong

   Posted by: Ryman    in Humor Post, Things Forwarded

1. Pwede bang uminom ng softdrink kapag coffee break?
Pwedeng uminom ng softdrink kung coffebreak ngunit kailangan itong lagyan ng asukal at kopimeyt. Kopimeyt dapat at huwag gatas. (Milk in my cereal, kopimeyt in my pepsi. sounds good to me!)

2. Pwede bang gamitin ang a.m. radio pag gabi na?
Maari lamang gamitin ang a.m. radio kapag umaga, kapag gabi ang iyong pakikinggan ay f.m.

3. Ang fire exit ba ay labasan ng apoy?
Ang fire exit ay ginagamit lamang bilang labasan ng apoy kapag may sunog. Ito ang kanilang daan upang sila’y makatakas o ang tinatawag na “fire escape”.

4. Ang uod ba pag namatay ay inuuod din?
Ang tao kapag namatay ay hindi tinatao. Malamang ang uod ay hindi rin inuuod. Kung ang tao ay inuuod kapag nalagutan ng hininga, siguro ang uod kapag namatay ay tinatao.

5. Totoo bang ang mga manok na pinatay sa jolibee ay masasaya kaya sila tinawag na chicken joy?
Ang mga manok na pinatay sa Jolibee ay masaya kung kaya’t sila’y tinawag na chicken joy. Ngunit hindi kinakailangang sa jolibee patayin ang manok upang ito ay maging masaya… ang mga manok ay nagiging masaya kapag sila ay may kasama sa buhay. kundi… mcchicken singles. (Ang pinakamasayang manok sa lahat ay iyong 6 pcs. chicken mcnuggets o yung nasa bucket )

6. Kung ang 7-11 store ay bukas 24 hrs a day , 7 days a week at 365 days a year. bakit may lock pa ang pinto nila? bakit ? bakit?
Dalawa ang dahilan. Una, may coffee break (tingnan ang katanungan bilang 1 hinggil sa maaaring inumin kpag coffe break) din naman ang mga nagtatrabaho sa 7-11. Pangalawa, mayroon tayong tinatawag na leap year.

7. Bakit di mataas ang highway?
Dahil kung mataas ang highway, walang paglalagyan ng skyway.

8. Ba’t alang lumilipad na sasakyan sa flyover?
Hindi lang natin nakikita ang mga nagliliparang sasakyan sapagkat hindi tayo tumitingala kapag tayo ay nasa flyover. Ang pagsalin ng dayuhang salita na flyover sa katutubong wika ay “fly”-lipad, “over”-sa ibabaw. Ibig sabihin nito na ang mga kotse ay hindi lumilipad sa flyover ngunit sa ibabaw ng flyover. Ngayon kung titingala ka naman kapag ikaw ay nasa flyover ang tangi mong makikita ay ang kisame ng iyong sasakyan. Alam kong wala sa inyong mayroong sasakyan na Miata, Boxster, Kompressor, Z3, Z8 at kung ano-ano pang kotseng pangmayaman kaya’t huwag na kayong mag-pumilit mamilosopo… ako lang ang may karapatan. Kung idadahilan niyo naman na mayroon kayong sunroof, hanapin ninyo ang inyong tinatawag na sense of humor”.

(reposted from Techie - old Darkmoon)

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