The wife says: We need.
The wife means: I want.
The wife says: It’s your decision.
The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious.
The wife says: Do what you want.
The wife means: You’ll pay for this later!
The wife says: We need to talk.
The wife means: I need to complain.
The wife says: Sure… go ahead.
The wife means: I don’t want you to.
The wife says: I’m not upset.
The wife means: Of course I’m upset you moron.
The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights.
The wife means: I have flabby thighs.
The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient.
The wife means: I want a new house.
The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!
The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.
The wife says: Hang the picture there.
The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!
The wife says: I heard a noise.
The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.
The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: I’m going to ask for something expensive.
The wife says: How much do you love me?
The wife means: I did something today you’re not going to like.
The wife says: I’ll be ready in a minute.
The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.
The wife says: Am I fat?
The wife means: Tell me I’m beautiful.
The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
The wife means: Just agree with me.
The wife says: Are you listening to me?
The wife means: [Too late, you're doomed.]
The wife says: Yes
The wife means: No
The wife says: No
The wife means: No
The wife says: Maybe
The wife means: No
The wife says: I’m sorry.
The wife means: You’ll be sorry.
The wife says: Do you like this recipe?
The wife means: You better get used to it!
The wife says: All we’re going to buy is a soap dish.
The wife means: I’m coming back with enough to fill this place.
The wife says: Was that the baby?
The wife means: Get out of bed and fix the noise.
The wife says: I’m not yelling!
The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!
In answer to the question “What’s wrong?”
The wife says: The same old thing.
The wife means: Nothing.
The wife says: Nothing.
The wife means: Everything.
The wife says: Nothing, really.
The wife means: It’s just that you’re an idiot.
The wife says: I don’t want to talk about it.
The wife means: I’m still building up steam.
[source: funfacts.com.au]
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