There has been a lot of new forwarded messages spreading around text messages and even emails. This new stuff comes in the form of “Inday” a not so simple housemaid. Rika, a sub-moderator of Darkmoon forums started the topic about the forwarded jokes about Inday. I’ve compiled (and will update this list regularly) the jokes posted by our members at Darkmoon.

And FYI, Inday the usual name of a housemaid, or katulong in Tagalog. After the popularity of Ederlyn, which of course almost every Filipino text addict knows about, Inday comes next.

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Dahil sa tindi ng kahirapan sa probinsya, namasukan si Inday bilang katulong sa Maynila. Habang ini-interview ng amo…Amo: Kelangan namin ng katulong para mag ayos ng bahay, magluto, maglaba, magplantsa, mamalengke, at magbantay ng mga bata. Kaya mo ba ang lahat ng ito?
Inday: I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want, my creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.
Amo: [nosebleed]

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Amo: Hoy Inday bakit sunog ang sinaing?
Inday: Heavy fire that exerted by the stimulus affect the best conductor of heat which is the steel, causing the “oriza sativa” which is the scientific of rice to change its state of color, smell as well as the taste.
Amo: … *nosebleed*

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Nakaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo, nakitang me bukol si junior.Amo: Bakit me bukol si junior?
Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy’s cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
Amo: [nosebleed ulit]

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Kinagabihan, habang naghahapunan.Amo: Bakit maalat ang ulam?
Inday: The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.
Amo: [nosebleed na naman]

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Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!
Inday: Because I don’t want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.
Donya: [hinimatay]

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Kinabukasan, sinamahan ni Inday si junior sa principal’s office dahil di makapunta ang amo at donya.
Principal: Sinuntok ni junior ang kanyang kaklase.
Inday: It’s absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because they suck!
Principal: [nag resign]

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Pag dating sa bahay, nandun na ang amo, galit na galit.Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!
Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.
Amo: [napatumbling!!]

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Amo: Inday, bakit binenta mo ung sira na silya?!
Inday: I have computed the chair’s fair value less cost to sell, and the value in use using the projections for 5 years and a pretax discount rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair. This is in accordance with PAS18 on Revenue, PAS16 on PPE, and PA36 on Impairment of Assets.
Amo: [nagsummersaultg!!! Accountant din pala si inday...]

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Habang nagluluto si Inday ng hapunan, malikot si junior.
Inday: Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you!
Junior: [takbo sa CR, pinunasan ang nagdudugong ilong!!]

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Pagkatapos magluto, nanood na ng TV si Inday. Nabalitaan nya umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.
Junior: Bakit kaya sya umalis?
Inday: Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they’ll stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it’s harder when people can’t understand you for doing so.
Junior: [tuloy ang pagdugo ng ilong]

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Nung gabing yon, me nag text ke Inday. Si Dodong, ang driver ng kapitbahay, gusto maki pag text-mate.Inday: To forestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable statement to the denial of your request - Petition denied.

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Di nagla-on, dahil sa tyaga ni Dodong, nagging syota nya rin si Inday. Pero di tumagal ang kanilang relasyon, at nakipag-break si Inday ke Dodong.Inday: The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocations. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!”
Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken, what you seem to contrive as any affections for you are somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting to expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily recreation. Heretofor, you can expect an end to any verbal articulation from myself”Me dumaan na mamang basurero, at narinig ang usapan ni Inday at Dodong.

Basurero (sabi ke Inday): Be careful in letting go of the things you thought are just nothing because maybe someday you’ll realize that the one you gave away is the very thing you’ve been wishing for to stay.

Narinig ang lahat ng eto ng amo ni inday.

Amo: {hinimatay sa sobrang nosebleed! Hanggang ngayon hindi pa nagkakamalay}

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Si inday, sumulat sa kanyang inay ng mga hinaing sa buhay…Dear mom, Had it been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed moment ago. Junior has become a little monster me, Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn’t enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabbily run academe. Oh, such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never thought being a governess can be such strenuous employ.

Your daughter,
Inday

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INDAY’S MEMOAttached herewith is a list of proposed acquisitions in line with my proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have already made an initial survey of current market prices.

Note however that prices could vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and demand which we also monitor on an hourly basis.

- si Inday, nagpapaalam para mamalengke

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Amo: Inday, bakit ang flawless mo? Ano ba ginagamit mo? Papaya? Kalamansi..?
Inday: Huh? Only Belo touches my skin. Who touches yours?
Amo: *hinimatay*

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Slap the face of that crazy B*tch! You must show to her that regardless of the class we belong in the society, respect should not be put at risk! Angelika is nothing but an opportunist, heartless devila! I damn hate her! Duh! - Inday, watching Marimar.

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Amo: Inday, bumili ka nga ng mga isda. Ay, oo nga pala, inglesera ka na ngayon. Would you please buy many fishes for this week’s meals?
Inday: Judging by your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term “fishes” although rarely used, connotes a plethora of different kinds of the said gilled aquatic creatures. But the more pressing questions before I go to the wet market would be: what type of fish? Fillet or not?Lufet!

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jeepney driver: hoy! bakit 6 lang ang binayad mo?? 7 na ang pamasahe ngayon!
inday: im currently enroled in a 2-year vocational course in an academic intitution. Therfore, im a student and by this fact, im entitled to avail of a certain discount on my jeepney fare. This is why I provided less than what you expected because that is according to the law, as stated in the fare matrix.
jeepney driver: aaww… Taray!

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Ederlyn: ikaw ba ang inday na sinasabi nila? At sino ka para itulad sa akin ang iyong kasikatan ngayong ako’y nananahimik na? Wala kang karapatan para pantayan ako! Hayop ka!
Inday: My apologies, but the fact is, your glory days is over my friend. I find it somewhat ridiculous, your persistence on persuading people to come to your party that never existed is beginning to get into my nerves! Damn you Ederlyn! Damn you! No one undermines Inday’s intelect..B*tch!- nag-away na cna Ederlyn at Inday. Kayo kasi eh!

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Overnight, inaral ng amo ni inday ang dictionary para may pangtapat na siya kay inday.Amo: so inday, tell me, how do you accept the fact that you are just a mere chaimbermaid in this extravagant mansion??
Inday:una camarera?eres tan pathetic. La unica razon que inscribi tu casa es porque nada esta sucediendo dentro de tu casa cuasi-agradable. Quisiera traer una poca clase en este hogar pero conjeturo que no puedo porque esta casa es fea.
Amo: what??!!(dumudugo na ilong)

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Here are some other blogs on Inday:
Blog Ni Inday (old)
Blog Ni Inday (new)
32flavors

Related Posts

• Who has the higher IQ?
• Fowarded text - Inday

Tags: inday