If ever there was another word for leaving, I’d use that instead of goodbye. I hate goodbyes; I really don’t like feeling sad. In fact I don’t like to be sad; I don’t want to be lonely. Maybe that’s why I surround myself with people, to entertain myself, to keep me busy, to keep me active so as to forget that I’m totally alone.
It was already dark; the chairs are all still there aligned in front of the stage. All the other people left. I was there alone; I took a chair and sat. Thoughts filled my mind; I was thinking what will happen next. What will I do? What should I do? I was there, still sitting on that chair. It was just after my graduation in high school. I didn’t leave yet; I stayed there and contemplate on what I should do next. I was without plans, purpose, or goal. I looked up to the sky, it was filled with stars, I was lucky it wasn’t going to rain. Before it turned night on that day, I’ve already said goodbye to my high school friends, my buddies, my barkada’s, my classmates for more than four years, even my high school crush. I wished that someday I would see them again. I can still remember it was one of the saddest moments in my life. It’s the first one actually. How I wish I wouldn’t feel that way again.
When I was still at UST, studying Pharmacy, even for just a few months of my stay there I found friends. Friends who are worth keeping and trusting, as I don’t trust people that easily. But on my last day there, I didn’t even said goodbye. I packed my bags, emptied my dorm room shelves, and left. I left them without saying a word or even showing up to them. I just needed to get out of there; one main reason is that I don’t like what I’m doing there. I don’t like my course, and another reason is that… [spoiler removed]
Anyway, I’m beginning to adapt a not-staying-at-one-place-for-a-long-time attitude. I kept on moving, changing places. I’ve met a lot of people in my lifetime, but not all of them I can call my friends. I’m not a trusting person; I don’t trust all the people except the ones I know very well. It seems that if I stay in one place for a longer time and get attached to the people there, it’s even harder to say goodbye to them. And that goes for my recent job. I just don’t know why I didn’t said goodbye to them in person. It’s only been 6 and a-half months, but I felt that I’ve known them for a long time. I just left them an email message and took off.
I just don’t want to feel sad that’s all. I was afraid that saying goodbye to them in person would… never mind… anyway what’s done is done… time to move on… but I won’t forget them, the persons that I can truly call my friends. So if you’re reading this, remember that I won’t forget any of you. And that even if my mind forgets, my heart will always remember. CORNY!!! Hahaha
At bakit nagkataon na emo pa yung background music ko…
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Sklonks ka talaga! Haha. At sino ang hindi emo? Sus, halos maiyak ka dyan.haha.
c yah!
adik ka sarah. hahaha