Eternalmoonlight.net

I feel so down today. Thinking about the past makes me feel like this. How I wish that one-day I would wake up having amnesia. Without remembering anything about my past. Without having to worry about things I don’t have control of. I hate the past, its not that I can’t get over it, it just stuck with you like gum on a shoe.

While I was having my dinner at a restaurant earlier today, there was this group of people across my table having a very interesting discussion. They are having some sort of bible study and sharing life experiences with each other. I have already finished my meal and ready to leave, but I was curious as how the discussion will go through. So I just sat there and listened to each and everyone’s story. One girl shared her story, relating her parents and God, and how loving both of them can be fulfilling in one’s life. Believe me when I say that I’m not a religious person. I don’t know when was the last time I went to church, or even prayed to God. Listening to their stories, made me reflect on one of my own.

When I was younger, I always do what I want. I have the luxury to buy whatever I want, to own what I desire, to go where I please. For that time, it was good, it was “fulfilling” and it was my life. But something was missing, something I thought I already have.

True happiness. It was the one thing, I don’t really have. It’s the one thing I’m always searching. In time, I realized that having everything you could possibly want would never make you happy. For a short time yes, but in the long run you will eventually feel sad. That’s one of the reasons why I’m always out. I’m always with my friends and barkadas. When I’m with them I don’t feel alone, I don’t feel lonely. Because of that, I value my friends more than my life. I found happiness through them.

Still… I can feel this sadness within me.

Category: Random Rants //
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